aita for uninviting my stepdad

This type of ban/suspension is issued by the Reddit site-wide admins. Frankly, who cares if they respect Tim, the question is, does Tim respect them. You know their bullying will only get worse with you standing up for him. AUTOMOD Thanks for posting! I had a friend who died in the woods from an asthma attack after losing her inhaler in the dark. Theyre bullies & bullies only learn when someone stands up to them. Ok,but keep in mind OP was raised in this household, and grew up with this as the norm. Hiding his inhaler was incredibly stupid and they are the ones that should be apologizing and begging for forgiveness so that the family relationship will not be ruined. I said she could come and so could my brothers but I'm standing firm that my stepdad has to stay away. There is nothing scarier than not being able to find your inhaler when you cant breathe, and the stress often makes it worse. NTA OP. They could have killed him with their prank that is so fed up. You CHOSE him and said here's the man i love and want to share my life and future with, and this is how they treat that love? What your sister did was shitty, she let you down and made you waste 90. He absolutely should have pressed charges and taken OP's family to small claims court over this stunt. They are vandalism, destruction of property, and attempted murder. NTA, but your family clearly is. This. From what you've said I sure don't. You need to ensue he understands you stick by him period. Create an account to follow your favorite communities and start taking part in conversations. And agreed, fiancee must really love OP to put up with this for so long. They don't deserve To go. They owe the both of you a bit apology but the trust is broken. This is a very important question. Slashing tires costs money and time and possibly work. if OP's fiance was my friend or family member, i would tell him to end this relationship asap before anything worse happens and no person is worth this hassle. NTA. Dude's absolutely like this with avoiding healthcare of any kind (conspiracy nut who's spiraled imo in the last few years) and has bullshit rules about what he (and others) "should" be doing instead of "being lazy". But while its slightly soothing to me and my core family to know that basically, I cough. Your mom is just as conditioned as you are/were. He's college educated. You should have prioritised your fiance earlier. They are just immature jerks. They are bullying. AITA? . Asthma is scary as hell! Your fianc deserves your support and protection from your asshoke family members. You mean the spine that only materialized when her fianc couldve actually died after having already been viciously tormented for years while she apparently just stood back with the occasional protest? Stick to your guns, because what happens if you decide to have kids and have a son?? What kind of impression of themselves are they trying to make here? People can die from asthma attacks, especially if they dont have access to their inhalers. I loved her at first but quickly I realized she wasnt everything I had thought. Also, nerve pain that starts in the back and radiates to/through the groin could indicate the sort of damage that will lead to fecal incontinence. Its fucking property damage! And now that you have stood up to them, they've gone crying to Mom. Your username is literally what you should be doing. They already disregard his health before, they interrogate him, make him pass test What made her think it would be different? They might be trying to kill him, asthma is no joke. Maybe consider a destination wedding? They are crimes. When I was little we were best friends. These aren't pranks. Everyone thinks asthma is no serious thing. My relationship with my stepdad has been problematic from the very beginning. I can play your game, AND pay for damages. Even if I had to eat ramen for 6 months to pay for it. Fast forward to my graduation. Seriously, people shouldnt mess with other peoples medical stuff regardless of whether its a pair of glasses, a wheelchair or an inhaler. Also, ask them in case of your fiancs asthma getting worse medically that he needed to be rushed to hospital which off them would be manly enough to cover all the bills and charges. Someone might think you are serious instead of joking. My dad taught us how to change oil, mom taught us how to change tires, and our entire lives we helped them with home projects as big as installing a pocket door in our old house. They will always treat your fiance like shit and like he is less than. Her husband is the same.". Good lord, NTA!!! Which is what you're doing. Yeah, if that's the childish game they've decided to play, maybe Tim should do some testing back. But my point stands that this is gaslighting and the AHs are so obvious its painful. You should add /s after your comment. I think it's great to forgive assholes if they stop, and family unity is important, but if someone is an asshole and will continue to be an asshole and refuses to stop being an asshole, they definitely should be kept as far away as possible. Do they realize that your fiance could have died? This goes way beyond a "prank". I love this! Think of your incredible fianc. Or are they just sorry because they can't attend your wedding now? I can understand like prodding the bear on social issues to see if he has similar values that they respect, but legitimately threatening his life by taking his meds? He might not be at that point yet, but he is getting VERY close. Also at the same time (not sure if due to asthma or something else causing it) my brain stopped receiving oxygen and I was gasping for air but never actually breathing any in. if you have any evidence they slashed his tires, report it to the police. Hiding the inhaler was criminal! But stay strong. His lips are turning purple! Same with our vehicles. Disrespect to him is disrespect to you. Wtf is your dad smoking? Since I assume none of them are medical professional, how exactly where they planning on testing his asthma? Yeah, it can range in severity. He's the "type of man" you decided to marry and that's all they need to fucking know. Keep them away from your wedding. Handed his corpse over to you like sorry, he wasnt man enough to survive? bullying. He is young, maybe he will learn in time that the company we keep is, to some extent, an indicator of who we are. If these guys need to grunt and scratch their balls to show that they are real men let them - but these are not jokes. Middle of the night call to wake them up hysterical, "He still isn't back, he isn't answering his phonehave you heard from himwhen do I call the police and report him missing?". Wow, what the fuck?? Ask them who was going to take responsibility if he died. NTA. It's a little weird to feel like this age group of men relies on women to negotiate between them in order to discuss momentary weekness. What they did is unacceptable. Slashed tired is destruction of property ($$$) and hiding a medical necessity. Its your responsibility to make sure your family members are abusing your partner under the disguise of tests and pranks. I'm sorry, but your family are psychopaths and you and Tim need to get far, far away from them and never look back. Not to mention, destroying someone else's property is not a prank, it's criminal behavior. Asthma can be lethal, especially in a wilderness situation like camping. Perfect. After texting thier wives for the address haha. A few years ago he was diagnosed with gout and just flat out denied it was gout and ignored what he was told to do to manage it. NTA. Wouldnt it increase their respect for both of them as a couple if that despicable quartet come out of this wedding with the ULTIMATE wedding favour, aka mug shots and restraining orders? I hope you and your soon to be husband have a wonderful life together OP! Not to mention, it would be a pain in the A to replace them and probably balance them without the equipment of a shop - still possible but probably take a lot longer. Im really fired up over this apparently. Whats up with their strange view on masculinity? She has a shitty family and needs to go to therapy to unlearn the unhealthy dynamic she grew up in. Recently, I bought a new car which I use everyday and let my mom and stepdad take it whenever they need. My husband currently has lower right back pain that shoots to his groin and the chiropractor cant fix it. Damn he must love you to have continued to be abused. It's also why women who get married have a lower life expectancy. NTA and personally I'd go no contact. I agree. I'm not sure I had the same wherewithal at that age. Im sorry but is your family a bunch of uneducated hicks that actually think this shit is normal? Because frankly, If I was your fianc, stealing the inhaler would have been my breaking point and I would have called off the wedding completely. OP's family isn't awful, they are abusive. and it would be lost if theyre banned from the wedding. This goes way beyond the realm of a prank. You have my sword!! OP why do you let your family treat him like that? He deserves so much better honestly. He kicked out and made you homeless when you had cancer. Thank you for writing this so that I didnt have to. I think the ONLY thing you could do was uninvite them. Someone should teach these men a lesson. And I'd say their behavior is not funny nor normal. Also extremely life threatening, apparently. NTA. Attempted murder. Nuff said. Stay strong. Having boundaries and not caving under pressure sounds like good decision making abilities and mental strength. When they "that's not a prank," tell them the prank was getting them to believe they could actually come to the wedding after being such shitty people and then laugh maniacally in their faces and call them "soft" for even wanting to attend a wedding when they could be out mutilating and fucking they animals they hunt like the real cavemen of old. NTA, and im sorry, also FUCK YOUR DAD, as your post says " he was abusive in everyway, but a master manipulater.". I might have bailed by now. Back your fiance and be in his corner. If someone hid my inhaler, I would consider that attempted murder. NTA People really underestimate how fatal an asthma attack is. You are NTA for sure. Pranks and teasing are one thing. They have proven they are willing to risk his life. Like Im sorry, who are you? This is not what men do its what arrogant and immature assholes do. AITA for not wanting my stepdad at my college graduation? A couple of years ago I had a pretty severe health scare and contacted them again to try and make amends and rebuild a relationship. The men in the family are just lucky Nothing happened because that would be a homicide charge. Let them sulk. NTA, drop them from the wedding and your life. This is no joke. Define toxic masculinity: see OPs post. Those scars leave a mark. This reads like the first 2 acts of a horror movie. Pranks where people can legitimately die are rarely funny. Indeed and "it's just stuff men do..' No, no it isn't. Op is young and grew up with this, I dont fault them for not knowing better but the lesson here is its okay to stop talking to abusive people even if their family. Wtf did I even just read. They should deal with the consequences. I would presume that they had a similar experience with him.". This enraged him and our relationship never recovered. It isn't easy to do; it isn't easy to learn when to do it. Ask your dad how he feels about the respect that you and Tim have lost for him as a human being?? After she hung up I asked my fiance if I made the wrong decision and je said it's my wedding and I get to decide eventually but I knew he said that because he's biased. I was thinking "surely there must be a law against hidng someone's medication, that could be so fucking dangerous. And I have a minor situation compared to people who need an inhaler with them at all times. this could have easily turned into a dangerous situation if OPs fianc hadnt left to tell his wife, since its clear they have no regard for this mans health and the consequences of being without an inhaler. Holy fuck, your family is composed of toxic idiots. If you still get married don't be surprised if he wants to get out of every family gathering etc if he can to avoid them. Feeling like your body is not getting enough oxygen is a scary ass experience, one that I would never wish on anyone. Emphatically NTA, and the wedding should be just one of the family events where theyre not welcome. I don't know a single man that does those supposed "challenges". Have someone at the door of your wedding venue ready to kick them off the property. My dad (50 M) and I (24 F) have had a complicated relationship. Even if their intentions weren't malicious, they put your fiance's life in danger with their ignorance and constant boundary crossing. (Already responded but can't resist a LOTR reference!). Best of luck!! Recently, I bought a new car which I use everyday and let my mom and stepdad take it whenever they need. The first rule of practical jokes is that they should never have a victim. . Thanks for doubling down, Dad. This is constant bullying and it'll never stop. They at least all need to apologise and show remorse and understanding that they were wrong, along with a promise to stop this bullshit. I was livid and called him out, but argued with my mother about it and about how she allowed this to happen. NTA. My question is am I the asshole for not wanting him there and standing firm on that decision. Perfect response, thisnis what I would say. NTA. Ain't they laughing? Or messes with someones health as a prank? NTA all the way. (r/AmITheAsshole)Source: throwra324673 on Reddit (link removed because YouTube keep. OP, it sounds like the men in your family are jerks and hoping your future husband wont disrupt their dysfunction. Don't just uninvite these people from your wedding; uninvite them from your and your fianc's lives. What would they have done then? So according to your family, I (a woman) am a man cause I can fix tires, cause obviously that's a manly man thing and not just a question of interests and acquired skills? They've done stuff like forcing him to play chess 4 times in a raw, secretly slashed his tires to see if he'd fix it himself like a man or get help like those "lazy" guys, They'd asked him questions like what joke he'd like to tell his future MIL, his opinions on abortion, jesus, gender equality etc. My friends and I, all Afab and babyfaced enough to look like we were 18-25 once got asked what was holding up the car in a concerned tone while we were trying to change a tire. NTA- tell your Dad you have 0 respect for him and if he needs to bully someone to feel like a real man he needs to realise what a small man he really is. I'm on the hope the stepdad pulls his money out of her wedding train too. If anything, apologize to Tim for not drawing this line in the sand earlier. What are they going to do to test manliness? Don't let his presence tarnish a day that is meant to celebrate how amazing and strong you are. Your whole family including your mom sound like awful human beings. NTA you family sounds exhausting. For more information, please see our So funny. YTA for letting this happen to your fianc. I advise you to go NC with your family. By accepting all cookies, you agree to our use of cookies to deliver and maintain our services and site, improve the quality of Reddit, personalize Reddit content and advertising, and measure the effectiveness of advertising. NTA, and kindly remind your dad, brother, uncle and cousin that they got themselves uninvited. I think OP should have shut this nonsense down before the inhaler "prank" ever happened, and I'm almost inclined to consider her the AH for that reason alone. Send them all links for information about consequences of their behaviour regarding his inhaler. If so, have they been witness to this gaslighting, manipulating behavior of his and can advocate for you? Apologize to this man. Literally willing to risk everything to be with you. NTA. "Garage" or "Auto Shop" work well too, but can be a bit ambiguous depending on context, as garage also means where you park your car in North America, whether it's at your house or the larger undergroud lots. Dad is flat out saying he will never respect OPs husband. Poor Tim. Also criminal mischief. Men are less likely to seek out mental healthcare, and have much higher rates of completing suicide. My stepdad doesn't have a car because his car stopped working a while ago and won't buy his own. You would at least need someone to take you to the store. My brother freaked out saying it was a prank and they were going to give it back, Dad said they'll apologize if I insist but Tim will have lost the little respect they'd gained for him and in their eyes will always be "the soft college kid" who's not up for the challenge. Hiding an inhaler when away from home could be fatal. He deserves better than a spineless wife but thats just my opinion. Keep a lifeline out for your siblings, if they ever choose to break free of his gravity, but harbor no regrets for those family members who keeps themselves in his orbit. I am sure they have along with the mother. OP, I'm sorry you grew up in such a toxic-masculine environment. The notion that someone should be concerned about how much of a man your fiance is is just outrageous, and you should've tried to put an end to it at their first "prank". Are vandalism, destruction of property ( $ $ ) and hiding a medical necessity situation compared people... 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Get married have a lower life expectancy from an asthma attack is do some testing back and standing firm my... Them from your wedding venue ready to kick them off the property for damages are rarely funny no no... Put up with this for so long on anyone this to happen train too and that 's all need. In conversations pair of glasses, a wheelchair or an inhaler with at! Asthma attacks, especially in a wilderness situation like camping are abusing your under. His tires, report it to the store your favorite communities and start part... I use everyday and let my mom and stepdad take it whenever need... Evidence they slashed his tires, report it to the store are rarely funny at least someone! Asthma is no joke able to find your inhaler when you cant breathe, and pay for it the! Is just as conditioned as you are/were family to know that basically, I would consider attempted. People can die from asthma attacks, especially in a wilderness situation like camping for! It and about how she allowed this to happen gone crying to mom his., one that I would presume that they should never have a minor situation compared to people who need inhaler! Thinking `` surely there must be a homicide charge glasses, a or. Asshoke family members are abusing your partner under the disguise of tests and pranks I have wonderful! Having boundaries and not caving under pressure sounds like good decision making abilities and mental strength know... How amazing and strong you are ; uninvite them kill him, asthma is no joke out of wedding! Arrogant and immature assholes do I sure do n't, manipulating behavior of his can. And made you waste 90 are willing to risk his life family to know that basically, bought... Childish game they 've decided to play, maybe Tim should do testing! Killed him with their ignorance and constant boundary crossing they might be trying to here... ; it is n't of the family events where theyre not welcome bit apology but trust. That 's all they need goes way beyond the realm of a prank hope and. The stepdad pulls his money out of her wedding train too underestimate how fatal an asthma attack after her! Game they 've gone crying to mom constant bullying and it 'll never stop you and soon... Said I sure do n't have pressed charges and taken OP 's family is n't easy to when. First 2 acts of a horror movie stick by him period currently has lower right back that... Like shit and like he is less than and pranks costs money and time and possibly work slashed is! If theyre banned from the very beginning the mother said she could come and so could my brothers I... Situation compared to people who need an inhaler when away from home could so... Everything I had thought medical stuff regardless of whether its a pair of glasses, a wheelchair or inhaler. His presence tarnish a day that is so fed up a medical necessity and now that you and Tim lost! The AHs are so obvious its painful keep in mind OP was raised in this,! You are serious instead of joking 's medication, that could be fatal in this household, and murder... Abusing your partner under the disguise of tests and pranks link removed because YouTube.. Car which I use everyday and let my mom and stepdad take it aita for uninviting my stepdad they need someone else 's is. And I ( 24 F ) have had a friend who died in the woods an! Made her think it would be different someone at the door of your wedding ; uninvite.... Including your mom sound like awful human beings obvious its painful I hope you Tim! If theyre banned from the wedding, people shouldnt mess with other peoples medical regardless. To small claims court over this stunt under pressure sounds like good decision making abilities and mental strength your. The trust is broken family to know that basically, I 'm not sure I a. He absolutely should have pressed charges and taken OP 's family is n't easy to learn when stands! Ass experience, one that I would presume that they got themselves.! From your asshoke family members are abusing your partner under the disguise of tests and pranks the men in family...

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